Nervousness may be an obstacle now, but you can learn how to start a conversation with someone you like and see where it leads.
There is nothing more troublesome than learning how to talk to someone you like. You want to be cool, but you don’t want to be cool. You want to flirt, but not so desperate. You have to be confident and fragile.
It is difficult to summon the courage to say “hello”, let alone start a comprehensive conversation.
So, what should you do? Should you do it yourself? Should you contact them via SMS or social media? What is the best way to talk to people you like?
When you have a crush on someone, as long as you think of talking to him, your adrenaline will soar. You breathe hard, even sweat, or forget what you have to say. That’s normal behavior. When you have feelings for someone, especially infatuation, it makes you feel physically tense.
You can imagine talking to them 100 times in your mind, or even in your mirror, but now when it does happen, it is so different. But this is not terrible. You can learn how to start a conversation calmly and confidently with someone you like.
Talking to a crush is like talking to other people. They are just one person, no more and no less. The only difference is how you build them in your mind.
Do you know this person? Are you obsessed with them because they are cute? Do you have a lot in common? Are they the type of person you like?
You may have thought about these things. This is much scarier than just chatting with friends because you have accumulated a lot. It may seem strong, but this fear is not based on reality.
I don’t recommend that you think about the worst things that can happen, because why do you force yourself to think about it? Instead, think about what you want to say.
Don’t think too much about their reaction. Don’t think about how they will reject you on the spot. This is why simple conversations are so scary.
Whether you are running in the same group or actually strangers, this is a small interaction. You don’t need to be perfect or behave exactly like others.
When talking to someone you like, thinking too much is the worst thing because it will make you obviously feel less confident in this situation. Even if you are nervous, it doesn’t matter at all. Remember, no matter what the outcome is, this is good for you. You are taking a risk by putting yourself there, which is a great thing.
Learning how to start a conversation with your crush does not mean you have to know every word of the conversation. This does not mean that you need to overthink your reactions, or sit with friends and ask them for advice.
Starting a conversation with someone you like means to be open and calm enough to continue the conversation, regardless of the direction of the conversation.
Here are some suggestions to help you do this from start to finish.
- Choose the form that makes you most comfortable: It seems to be safer to contact your crush in a virtual way. This way you have time to think of a smart response. Don’t communicate on social media just because it seems least scary.
This freedom will make you overthink your answers or act too eagerly. If you talk face-to-face with someone you like, you have a greater chance of making a real connection.
2. Choose a common topic: Many people will tell you to start with the phrase. Although this is not bad, it does not trigger a conversation. “I like your tie.” “Have you changed your hairstyle?” These are all good, but they don’t naturally lead to a good conversation.
Ideally, start the conversation with current events or common topics, such as school or work. In college, I ask people I like if they have already started working on their project topic or if they know how to go about it.
This will make it easier for you to start a conversation, and it will not make people feel reluctant.
3. Look into their eyes: This is only useful face-to-face, but when you are nervous or attracted to someone, you tend to look at their lips instead of their eyes. This will appear impersonal and will prevent you from fully understanding what they are saying.
Making eye contact when talking to someone you like will increase your chances of contact and help the conversation go deeper.
4, Take your time… but don’t worry. Whether you are responding in person or texting, you have to take your time. Be thoughtful, but don’t analyze. If you are texting, you don’t want to rewrite your answer ten times. Just type it out and reread it again quickly to prevent typos.
Face to face, let them fully finish thinking before replying. Even if there is no intention, when you talk to someone enthusiastically, you will cut off the other person’s words because you want to reply. This is normal. This will appear very urgent, even impolite.
5. Let the conversation continue: If the conversation is procrastinated, just let it go. Don’t just talk about a topic just to keep things going. This may make you feel awkward and compulsive. Not only will you feel uncomfortable, but they may also feel uncomfortable.
Let the conversation flow from one topic to another. If things come to an end, don’t ask: “So, what are you up to?” This is a large range, and it seems intrusive rather than curious.
6. Pay attention to words, not people: When you are talking to your crush, your attention must be focused on the fact that you are talking to them because they may be sharing something very important about themselves with you or asking you a question, and you may miss it.
In fact, you have to participate in the conversation, be your true self, interact, listen, share, and raise your opinions and questions.
7. Don’t be motivated. When I was young, I would text the person I liked, hoping that he could ask me out, or I could have the opportunity to tell him that I like him. This will affect the content of the conversation and limit the content of the conversation. I always look for something in every interaction.
If you do this, you are unfair to them or yourself. Instead of waiting for a date invitation, it is better to enjoy the conversation itself. Don’t expect anything.
8. Get to know them. Having a crush on someone can build up their impression in your heart. Maybe they are cute, kind, and funny, but that doesn’t mean that you will be connected. Don’t rely on the fact that you have a good impression.
Just because you took the time to think about them does not mean that you will be together well. Get to know them in conversation. Don’t pretend to like what they like because you think a lot about them.
9. Let it end by itself. As I said before, don’t force the conversation to continue when it has ended. When you chat via text messages or social accounts, if the conversation is over, there is no need to say goodbye, unless you are going to sleep.
Worst case scenario when you have a face to face conversation and you run out of topic to discuss. The best thing to do is to go with the flow, when it ends, you can feel it, just like you are chatting with other people, say goodbye or see you later, and wait for your next conversation.
Learning how to talk to people you like is not as scary as it seems. Just relax, stop overthinking, and follow these steps. Using this guide, you will definitely leave an unforgettable impression on your Crush.